What is the price of happiness?

Although i always try my best to please everyone but there is only so much you can do which are within your power. I have always not been able to financially provide my family properly but yesterday i did get some reward :) Smiles on everyone's face

The cost though may not be too high nor was it low either, 6.1k to put a smile on everyone does seem to be worth it :)

A lot more needs to be spent before the house is furnished to better living conditions. All in good time i suppose, can't be rushing to get what you don't like.

梁文音 - 愛一直存在

Since i have very little time listening to radio as i only travel a very short distance by car to the LRT station, it is quite rare that you get to listen to songs that you like, or rather be introduced to songs which you have not heard before which is to your liking. This morning, on my drive to work, this song was aired and i was lost in my mind translating the meaning of it that i almost forgot that i was driving.

那天我揚起帆　
想看看未知的海
心裡很多話想說說不出來　
雖然我臉上看不出來

天空一樣蔚藍　卻換了多少雲彩
那時的你讓我幸福百分百　
是否為我等待

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你淚停不下來
你知道我依賴多不想 Say Goodbye
我痛說不出來

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你快樂都停擺
某一天我期待和你笑的燦爛
回頭看愛　都在

站在你的門外　我決心不在徘徊
心裡很多話想說　說不出來　
但我想你一定都明白

時間過的好快
想念卻不曾更改
現在的你是否幸福百分百　
我應該怎麼猜

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你淚停不下來
你知道我依賴多不想 Say Goodbye
我痛說不出來

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你快樂都停擺
某一天我期待和你笑的燦爛
回頭看愛都在

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你淚停不下來
你知道我依賴多不想 Say Goodbye
我痛說不出來

我知道我的愛一直都會存在
沒有你快樂都停擺
某一天我期待和你笑的燦爛
回頭看愛都在

愛一直存在

The DJ claims that this is one of the most sung song in karaokes now :p

Age, time, wealth, and energy correlation

Heard this on the radio while i was stuck in a traffic jam.

A young person have time and energy but not wealth

A middle aged person have wealth and energy but not time

An old aged person have time and wealth but not energy

I find this true for most of the general population. :)

Join the Pact with Mika

Another invite to drink for free session :D Ironically, the theme is to "Never drink and drive". Being a KL person, you cannot get around much without driving. So obviously we drove to the event and will of course consume alcohol before driving home :p

My first time visit to Quattro's Autumn club, the much hyped in place but i do not really see what the hype is all about. Its quite cramped like Sanctuary. Tables are put closely together to maximize the number of guests leaving little room to maneuver not to mention shake a bit of body.

A familiar face was seated on the next table in the form of an old friend. Never in my dreams did i thought we would meet in this kind of place. A sight for sore eyes nonetheless. Chatted up to allow the times to catch up and updates in our current life while waiting for Mika to arrive.

Quattro's Autumn Club
Small talk interview
Took this while Mika had a handshake with my friend
Mika's supercar where he brings lucky winners on a ride
Interesting slogan where the drinks (Johnny Walker whiskies) were free flow XD

The place got even more boring after Mika left. So uncharacteristically we left at around 10+ pm. My friend, the driver had at least 5 cups of Johnny Walkers and he drove me home, so much for "Never drink and drive" XD

090909

Should have been the day but it was not to be.

Stumbled into a future plan and failed miserably.

Blew up in my face and scarred for life.

Is it solace or have my confidence shattered?

A ghostly stare seeking for answers in the late insomniac nights

The end is nowhere in sight ...

7 hours on weekdays and 5 hours on weekends

No comprende? :) When i was younger, i did not like to go to sleep. With youth, i have boundless energy and that helped me go on and on and on. Unlike most of my friends, i do not take evening naps. I feel that time was wasted just by lying around and doing nothing. Playing or watching television is much better than sleeping. Perhaps that is where i gained most of my knowledge, knowledge some may find boring or useless to them but it fascinates me a lot. Paleontology, astronomy, English language etc.

As i aged, i found that its not so much that my body requires the nightly recharge but instead its my mind. And from those programs, i learned that dreaming while sleeping will deprive your brain from rest because its still working in displaying the dream to you. So you might end up in the morning as tired as the night before when you went to sleep.

For many years i have been able to sleep without dreaming and wake up revitalized ready for the day. However, in recent years, persistent dreams deprieved me of my much needed rest. Although the dreams are not only about 1 type matter but it is directly related to what was bothering me during my waking hours. Sigh the horror of living through the day's events again when you are sleeping ... albeit a little different in your mind's interpretation.

I always told myself that i really need to get some rest before i burn out. Even when i have taken leave specifically for resting, i did not get the required rest. Although now im getting around 7 hours of sleep on weekdays and 5 hours of sleep on weekends, but since most of the time im dreaming so i don't even have the full sleep times. Everyday waking up looking like a panda, although i don't really yawn all the way through the day but my eyes are hardly 100% open.

Many have claimed that boozing will get your mind off the matter and helps you sleep. Surprisingly, on many boozing occassions, i get even lesser sleep to be fueled by alcohol in my system to go through the next day. My eyes may be red from the lack of sleep but its able to stay as wide as the days when i do not have enough sleep. From my observation, i can get to my bed and KO at around 2am and then to wake up at 5 or 6 am waiting for the sun to rise.

Although its true that i have alot in my mind now which may cause my this lack of sleep situation but hopefully i can get everything resolved soon. Hair also dropping alot, think that i'll be bald by 30 :( Sigh ...

Confirmation - Important/Necessary?

In life there are many things you would like to be definite, 100% sure. For the things you are unsure, not 100% sure, you will if possible try to ensure that its as close to 100% as possible. Of course the debate may spin off to say that even when confirmed, there is still a chance of it not happening the way you expect it to be. Hence, here lies the dilemma, to 100% confirm but still there is a chance of it not happening.

Perhaps its more apparent in those cases which are not 100% confirm. I am 99.999% sure that tomorrow will come and the sun will still rise from the east to set around 12 hours later in the west. Where is the 0.001%? Catastrophes or unpredictable events may happen which may be beyond our control/comprehension/knowledge.

A gathering with a list of confirmed attendees who are supposed to meet on a specified time and date. The events in the days leading to that date may influence this confirmation, it is not until the very moment of the gathering that you know who will really show up as per confirmation. I have seen many cases of FFK and/or cancellation of gatherings when a supposed confirmed list of attendees are supposed to show up. In more extreme cases, it was called off just before it was supposed to start.

The human mind is superb at imagination, working out scenarios based on logics (sometimes even illogical) of what an outcome may be. So if you know a person so much so that what he/she may do next is predictable, are you 100% sure that that is how something will happen? If you are sure, do you want to see it for yourself to confirm your prediction? Being the curious me, i am one of those who would be very interested to see confirm my prediction. If the outcome is not as per predicted, what led it away from prediction?

Recently an old (in my mind, unresolved) issue resurfaced, knowing how a person thinks helps you guess what may happen but you are not 100% sure if that is what is going to happen. So what does a curious person have to do to find out? You have to open Pandora's box to get at the secret, wait for the predicted to happen or somehow influence it to happen, whether what has been predicted will happen as per prediction is to be confirmed.

If what you have predicted is 99% bad in almost all the scenarios, would you still want to find out? Is it the fear of what is predicted making me sleepless or the curiosity to know what is the real outcome? Will i be able to sleep better after exorcising this ghost? All is yet to be seen/revealed/resolved when it happens. As per my explanation to a friend with regards to my this issue, i used an analogy, "If you are 99% sure that by hitting your head with a piece of wood would hurt, would you want to hurt yourself to prove that 1% wrong?"

Apologetic note :

In my quest for confirmation, im sure that i have grilled more than 2 friends for answers on what happened leading to their breakup. Im sure it must have hurt them a great deal more to having answer me and reminding them of what they would want to put behind them. I sincerely apologize for my rude/inconsiderate behaviour which may have caused them further unhappiness.