I, Mercenary

I always hear from my friends and colleagues that we should have a mercenary mind. But wait a minute what is a mercenary? According to dictionary.com, it means "working or acting merely for money or other reward" By this definition, I think so many of you out there are the same but in my mind, I wanted to try to work for the highest bidder of which I have seen seems to be quite handsomely paid =D

Thus after trying many years to be able to be a mercenary, I changed 2 jobs in less than 6 months before which I stayed with my first company for almost 9.5 years. I thought to myself, I have made up my mind and be committed to making this change to try to get top dollar. This also means that I will have to venture into unknown territories ie perform unknown work.

For my first jump, it was pretty relaxed at first and it was mainly still within my comfort zone. But then came the lure of benefits which I previously had so I thought it was a better offer once again hence I went ahead for my second.

In my second jump ie now, a major part of the work is focused on a specific area which I also had experience with. However as days passed, I find that it might be a little too much for me to chew. I felt trapped at my desk whereas previously I was able to move around meeting people from various other departments and vendors. Now is all about paperwork and my attention span is close to non-existent :p

There is a great weight of expectation and a menacing shadow looking over my shoulders. It is not to say I am not able to do the work but it would be better or faster if I can be pointed into a more specific direction instead of letting me wander around looking for the right path like a blind person but is expected to reach the destination like a normal person might be able to in a new place. Sigh...

The thought of wanting to switch again or perhaps go return to where I originally started is looking a whole more attractive. Unfortunately, it looks absolutely bad on my resume to be not able to last 1 year on a new job but it is so very tempting to want to be able to do something which I may like better than now. Decisions decisions...

Titled but unworthy

I think this week I sent back to school again =_=||| Feels very much like a small child being lectured by adults who have walked over more bridges than the roads I have ever traveled or have consumed as much salt particles as the grains of rice that I ever had.

I suppose that is why those kind of people are where they are because that is what they bring to the table. Although still related to the field which I like but I think I am at least a couple of years behind my colleague.

What made me worry was the way they deal with people here. Today an email was sent out to everyone in my company, the content tells of 4 senior managers, ALL of whom have worked in the company for more than 15 years at the very least were "let go" and their departments restructured. Their staff were only told end of last week. It feels so not right despite we all know that they all got a handsome fee which some refer to as the "golden handshake".

Sends a shiver down my spine thinking about those loyal people, good people who have given most of their life for the company to be "let go" in such a manner. It was rumored that they have discussed and thought about this matter before accepting the "golden handshake" but perhaps my experience with my previous company was that they were too good to their loyal employees.

As I always say, my title in the company does not mean much because it is just a way for HR to place me within their pay scale or better known as salary range. In this sense, I am just another salaryman just like most of you guys out there :)

My farewell notes

I am sure during the course of your working life you will have encountered colleagues leaving and receiving their farewell notes. After reading so many of other people's, I wanted to make mine special and that was always in my mind. The unfortunate thing is that I know far too many people to be able to just come up with 1 email so I wrote plenty to different groups :p

The first one is of course the most important, the people who interviewed and eventually hired me

Dear Managers,

You may or may not remember that you were the ones who interviewed me but despite my poor memory, you three are etched into my mind.

Dear En S,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to join your team.
Being part of your team have shaped me to who I am today.
The values and qualities you have taught me can basically be seen today whereby we are quite similar in being cheekily truthful on sensitive matters which unfortunately is a suicidal clash against Management.
Nevertheless, I see there is no wrong in telling truth just that I am not able to put what must be conveyed in a gentler manner.

Dear C & S,

Although I was not chosen by you to join your respective teams, we have worked together in lesser capacity in recent years.
It is still a pleasure to be able to work with you

Lastly, I remember I was asked a question by C if not mistaken, whether I was prepared to work outside of normal working hours ie during midnight or later.
Being a inexperienced young man then, I just blurted what came to my mind ie that I will be as prepared to work just as I am prepared to stay awake to watch my favorite football team play in the wee hours. It was meant as a joke but we were all laughing, I think :p
Over the years of course, I have worked countless nights of which on many occasions through the night and spanning over 24 hours.

Thank you all and I hope to work with you again in the near future.
Cheers and all the best.

My original teammates

To my beloved original teammates,

Thank you for teaching and coaching me from  a fresh grad who doesn't know anything to become a true .
The experiences with you all have shaped me to be who I am today.

I know it may sometimes be hard to accept that I am challenging your belief (especially Muslims) or work or personally and I would like to seek for forgiveness in the spirit of Ramadhan for what I have said or done that may have offended you but you suffered in silence.

It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart and all the best

My current teammates

My dearest colleagues,

As you may have seen this morning, I was overwhelmed with emotions to be saying my goodbye.

It was a magnificent pleasure to be able to have the opportunity to work and learn from each and every one of you.
We may have discussed, quarreled and sometimes might escalate until physical conflict but its all good because we are like a big family in one of the smallest IT department in the Bank.

I know it may sometimes be hard to tolerate that I am challenging your belief (especially Muslims) or work or personally and I would like to seek for forgiveness in the spirit of Ramadhan for what I have said or done that may have offended you but you suffered in silence.

It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and all the best.

Lastly, a general email to everyone in my sector and some important/close business colleagues with a more original email title "Disembarking flight MSS1713". FYI, MSS1713 was a new company direction

Dear Colleagues,

Many of you may not know me but I am going ahead and spam you anyways. Kindly be reminded that ITSEC does not endorse spamming =D

For those who do know me, I am sad to inform you that I will not be joining you in the historic journey of MSS.

I always imagined that I would be able to write this email in a way that it will leave an impression and to be honest, I am hit with writer's block for almost a moth.
So at a loss of my own creativity, I will have to make a corny quote from quite a famous HK drama, "人生有多少個十年?" which is literally translated as "How many decades are there in a human life?". I have been here for almost a decade, roughly 9 years and 4 months and in those many many years, I have got to known many people, some you like, some you don't, some you just can't use any words to describe them. However, I have been exceptionally lucky to be able to work in teams that display unprecedented teamwork and cohesion under the guidance of even more remarkable leaders. It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

I speak my mind and more often than not and it is generally not accepted by the masses. Hence in the spirit of Ramadhan, I would like to seek for your forgiveness IF I may have offended you in any way.

Note : I will NOT be using the 012-xxxxxxx anymore

All the best and safe journey on MSS1713

From blasting email to so many people, one of the most interesting reply I got was from someone who had the same middle as I did and she replied because of that LOL. Some of those who are not aware, called me up immediately and asked about many things, mostly related to work which I have helped them.

Bye Bye Tiger

If anyone had noticed, I have long removed my list of wishlist and a couple of things happened. This is one of it and the thing is, I feel exactly the way my friend told me she felt when she tendered her resignation. I was happy until that very moment when I had to go and face my bosses. I know it can be as simple as a chat but it turned out to be more than that.

To be honest, I tried to put in my resignation last year but I retracted it after my boss promised me that I would be promoted. After a 6 month's wait, I did get my promotion BUT to my shock, my bonus was 1 month short and after some digging around, I found out that it was my boss that made that cut. I think it really did infuriate me and made me more unhappy.

According to my zodiac sign predictions, this year is a good year to make a career change and I will get some help especially from females. The strange thing is that my new boss is a guy and the HR manager who called me was also a guy. Oh well, perhaps there are forces at work which I do not see for the time being.

Before tendering, I talked to a headhunter friend of mine, asking him for advice if my move is a advisable. Perhaps I just needed a little more assurance but he did give his thumbs up and I went and did what I did today. I put on a defensive posture and was frank with what I had to say but as expected, things are not as what they seem. I got a curse (some may call it friendly advice) that "1 day I will have to face up to the situations that my boss is facing now and then I will be in her shoes".

The last thing I heard her say before I left the room was that she had already signed and accepted my letter even before this session. I am sure that we are all disappointed to part ways like this but I have always wanted to see a different side of things and a chance is knocking at my door now. I definitely have a lot of things that are not perceived as good traits but to learn from experience is the fastest and most effective way to be better.

How would you like to be treated?

At work, who should your boss believe if there is an incident without knowing a single detail? The staff or the outsider?

As a team, you would expect that the boss be on your side or at the very least willing to listen to the staff or even go and find out the facts. So with some idea then only you can go around pointing fingers or give a smackdown to the party at fault.

The worst kind would of course be to fault the staff then hear the staff defend using facts. Something like "guilty until proven innocent",

By now you should know where I am getting at ... Yes, I was fed a dead cat and thankfully I have my immediate superior to help me out a little. Things have been getting from bad to worse at work. Initially it was just doing more and more work but you will never get the recognition now, you will just get more work and be told that you are not doing good enough!

If its just 1 person who is saying this then the most likely person who is wrong would be me BUT the fact of the matter is that my whole team is of the same opinion. So what my boss is doing is running is a ship full of more and more grumpy staff who are overworked and getting scolded.

If I am really wrong, I will definitely accept the punishment but to be executed even before knowing the fact is ... downright stupid. Good luck in trying to keep the team but some of team cannot leave due to various reasons so for the others, there will most likely be some action. I know I am dead serious about my next move.

Oh yes, I am innocent in the incident and there are more than 1 fact to support it. So mlm mlm to you!

FAITH ...

Just the other day, heck its almost everyday now that this topic is being brought up at my workplace. I was *ahem* discussing about GOD with my colleagues with roughly the same arguments as below. I think the below can provide takeaway for both believers and non-believers, I will still remain "accountless" :p

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

My arguments :


1) There is a real scenario whereby Darwin's so called theory was witnessed in a person's lifetime. Perhaps there are more but we are not looking correctly or you need many many lifetime to prove this change.
2) If GOD is so great then why are there so many version of HIM/HER/IT? To create confusion, to test your FAITH? OK you win.
3) The dumbest thing in my mind about GOD is that he created evil, bad things, suffering etc. Why the fuck would this GREAT GOD create those things??? HE/SHE/IT must be so full HIMSELF/HERSELF/ITSELF that you MUST believe in HIM/HER/IT that if you are able to overcome such adversities, you will be able to enter Heaven.
4) There are numerous ways to clear ones' sins, the easiest of which is to just to believe. The other just requires a little more money and you are purged of your sins as well just by repeating what a prophet did many decades ago. Another is to meditate and/or follow some rituals which will enlighten you and thus allow you to be promoted into Heaven. ALL puns intended.
5) HEAVEN, or HELL for that matter must be so full of occupants that both will reject new residents, exception to this would be religions that have continuum ie one will be reborn. The downside to this is that why are there more and more humans? Of course the counter argument that I can think of would be that we have destroyed sp many other lifeforms and thus they are becoming us to take revenge? Perhaps I have not been taking into account of plankton of which their numbers have yet to be or should I say cannot be estimated, so the balance of how many lives that are maintained is still intact ... hmm ...


I am not really "attacking" any religion per say but at the same time I am actually taking a swipe at major religions altogether. I think I better stop here so I can get my sleep

First day of work in the new year after the supposed apocalypse

With the end of days fresh in my mind and in some sense unfortunate that it did not happen, I wanted to use some of the things I bought in conjunction with the new year. Almost similar to CNY, I thought it would be cool to wear/use new things :)

Today I wore my G2000 shirt and pants bought in HK, a new pair of shoes bought when I went out with my friend a couple of months ago to replace my current pair which is falling apart and also a new wallet to replace my current one which is also falling apart =_= I suppose you can say you get what you paid for because the quality of the G2000 shirt was much nicer compared to my many of my other shirts. Considering that I got it from an outlet (which is cheaper than a normal shop on sale), the price was not too far off from what I would pay for a decent quality shirt. Come to think of it, some of my Crocodile shirts which I also like were in the same price region. The pants was smooth and light, qualities which I prefer in my slacks but this was the lightest that I have ever worn. It also gave me a bad feeling that its quite easy to tear ...

Had an OK day but struggled with conversations since my throat was having its off day and many pronunciations were off pitched very much like when I am forced to sing songs.

Don't feel like summarizing my 2012 at the moment so I will just leave it as it is since there was basically not much achievement other than getting more stamps on my passport =D Looking forward to getting more stamps this year XD

2012 2012 2012

Some say its the end of the world. Its also someone's birthday. Today was an OK day but I left office so late trying to figure out how fucked up my mess was. I am short of RM150,000 to pay my vendor. RM50k of which I can actually worry about later. So that just leaves me with RM100,000 short. Now that's a bitch and I am fucked up real bad now. I think I should be able to cover it up next year when I run a similar project next year.

If the world ends today or tomorrow then I don't have to give a shit about this shit. I doubt it very much so I'm still gonna be fucked up. There are still many things that needs to be done before this year ends and I am supposed to clear my leave from Christmas onwards. Makes me really wanna say "Yippikaiyay Motherfucker!" and swallow a couple of painkillers so that my headache will go away.

Well, that its for this post and we'll see if I wake up tomorrow. Most likely I will open my eyes and end up cussing tomorrow morning because its already scheduled that I will have more work at night until at least midnight. mlm mlm

I always say the "right" things at the "wrong" time

I used to be a quiet person. I don't talk much because I don't have much to say particularly to the people whom I don't know. But if I am close to someone I might be a little more chatty but therein lies the problem. I almost always speak my mind so that means I am shooting so damn straight that people who don't know me might think that I am crazy to utter some things.

I am not sure how you are brought up but I have been constantly reminded that I am not supposed to lie. I had the shock of my life when I went to college. YOU CAN'T FUCKING SURVIVE IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LIE!!! I get to meet so many interesting and bad characters that I realize that I have tomust lie.

However, sometimes I unknowingly let slip what flashed across my mind and it normally lands me in a pile of shit so high that its over my head. Can't say that I don't really deserve it. To be honest, I was really telling the goddamned truth BUT nobody likes the truth. I hate myself for not being able to control myself BUT I will hate myself more if I kept it in too much.

Sigh, its sad that sometimes I will turn my friends away because its perhaps not what they want to hear and the stupid me just reminded them of their grief or wrongdoings. I do hope my close friends understand me enough to know that I am me and for me, I believe that the truth is better than lies especially among friends. Of course they are entitled their own fantasy bubble that should not be burst by my unfortunate knowing of their truth. For this I apologize for all the wrong or uncomfortableness that I may have caused.

I really must shut the fuck up more before I lose more friends. Too bad I really just can't help it if I see something wrong and let rip. Also, some people when talking about some secretive stuff they tend to be a tad too loud and I would overhear and then butt in :p So here's news for you, whisper even softer when talking about secret stuff because some people's hearing are better than others and will pick up what you say =D

My phone's new accessory =_="

Last week, we had a new system cutover and there was a change in process where I will need to login back to a system. When it was rolled out, all of had problems using or connecting to the system. My Blackberry had to be formatted just to reinstall the thing which did not work properly during UAT. I was very reluctant to use my SGSII to access the system as I wanted it to remain as my personal phone. However to ensure that I am able to carry out my duties, it has to be sacrificed and I installed the application. That was the easy part.

Over the weekend, there was a real need to access that system BUT all my team members either did not see the message or could not login to the system due to various reasons ranging from poor reception for data and did not bring their two factor authentication (2FA) token with them when they go out. Well, I am one of those who did not bring the token :p So to prevent future incidents, I now have a not so prefered dangling phone accessory, the 2FA token =_=|||

Looks damn fugly to be a phone accessory if you ask me ...

More sacrifices for the company and yet I am still poorly paid. Tunasingh betul ...

Choose your poison

I thought my landmark 300th post would be something interesting but its of hate ...

If you ask someone to tell you the truth, would you be expecting a gentle landing or a hammer to your head? More often than not, you should get hit by the hammer BUT this crazy working society will more likely create a soft landing for your 100 floor drop. I mean WTF is with that? You wanted an honest answer, you should know that it could go both ways so why expect only the flowery and supposed nice to hear things?

You gave me the opportunity to tell you truth so you got the cold hard truth from your's truly. You fucking asked for it and I am not supposed to tell you the truth??? Perhaps I should be sick of the truth and just fart lies all over the place and tell you its the fragrance of David Beckham and it will get you all the girls.

SIGH. Unfortunately, I think all companies will be the same. Stupid politics and dominance for power. Sounds very much like emulating something which is happening on a bigger scale to me. If you really want to progress, you must listen to the grassroots. These are your foundation. Perhaps they have forgotten that they were once down on the ground and really want to see the good for the future. Their focus now are on a different, perhaps more personal matter.

I can't even continue to type on this as I feel so sick of all this crap.

Please continue to enjoy your poison chalice of lies.

A real smile after a long hiatus from an unexpected source :)

Today I smiled again, a real smile which was not faked. It was so unexpected that it really brighten up my day although it was almost end of the day. A colleague from another floor who unintentionally found out something about me, repeated to me what many others have told me before but the way she talked to me was so sincere that I cannot put on a fake smile to face her.

It was never my intention to do what I did but I needed a faster shortcut to achieve what I required. Its not the correct way but I needed to do it. Although now, I think its not such a shortcut after all =_="

Thinking back, I think I smiled all the way back to my floor. I could not hold back and shared my experience with my closest neighbour. I have not been so sincerely happy for quite some time :)

Don't lose your Zing card ...

Unfortunately I recently lost my Zing card. So like any other customers, I had to call up the bank and Touch N' Go to stop reload and to block the card from being used. That being said, naturally the next question would be when would I expect to get my replacement card and do I need to pay again for it? To my utter shock, it will take 1 week to get my replacement card eventhough I can go the bank to collect ... It also will cost me RM10.

Thankfully because of my work, I know people who are in the department that manages cards which will be sent to customers. With just a call, I got my replacement card about 5-6 hours later =D Great news right? Yes in the sense that I do not need to queue up for single journey trip tokens anymore BUT to activate the card, I need to use it a tolled road ... To add insult to injury, I will be charged RM2 for reload =X Fine, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place so I just had to bite the bullet and take the penalty.  So the nearest tolled road costs me RM1.

To get a refund on my balance of my lost card, I had to email TnG myself but that's fine still. I got a reply the next day but low and behold, an email kindly informs that they will refund the balance to my credit card but I will be charged RM5. Great, double whammy from both the bank and TnG.

So in total, the replacement card cost me RM18 of fines and other charges to get back to my normal routine. RM18 is more than 11 work journeys on the LRT. In summary, make sure you don't lose your Zing card ...

I like this new design though

Jumbled post

Been quite busy with work and I sure as hell need a break IF I can get it. The projects are just rolling in and gets more and more complicated that it takes up so much time and my other work will have to be pushed until after office hours. Other than that I have to go the datacenter and most of the time, I am only permitted entry after 9pm. By the time I finish, its late night if not almost dawn.

I recently met up with my old boss and he seems to be doing pretty well. I hope he does do well so that he may offer me a better paying job and perhaps ride high again like we used to. In one of our topics he did plummet me into deep thought and depresssion on a personal matter which had been left pending for ages. In a way, he is right and oddly enough it seems to be what I want but then again I don't really know what I really want. Not making much sense there huh?

I am supposed to have get a training in Hong Kong. I wished that I could go in November but its been dragging and now its mid December already zzz. My friend there is telling me that there is a sale now going on BUT I am still left with no clue when I might be headed there for my training and a MUCH needed break albeit free flight and a few days of accomodation.

My colleagues tell me that I do not need many days in Hong Kong for sightseeing, something like 3-4 days would cover many areas. But when I fire up a trip planner, I can't get too all the places which I am interested in even if I had a week ... Perhaps I am overambitious, then again I do not know much about which places are worth to visit. I would definately want to visit Disneyland, shop for IT stuff, visit the famous places and surrounding islands, shop for some clothing.

I think that I have changed a fair bit but it still feels like I am still miles away from how I want to be seen. Is it because I am not putting enough effort into it? I am not trying hard enough? Maybe I did not do anything at all ... Status quo, like the many work updates which I get.

Not that I want to blame the weather but it is kind of a depressing feeling now is lingering inside me. 了解我的人呢？在哪里？If only ...

As you can see, I do not have the luxury of time nor energy like I used to focus on a topic and pen a long post. SIGH ... I am getting too old for this shit ...

Chengdu : Land of Giant Pandas and MaLat Spiciness

I was recently asked to perform a site certification for the company in Chengdu, China. The reason behind the choice was fairly straightforward, there weren't too many candidates who is able to converse in Chinese in my team. Initially, I thought it was just a 1 person thingy but later on I found out that my boss would be joining me =_=

Anyhows, its not a trip, its for work and its supposed to be huge. I have handled big projects before so this is not really that difficult although it is my first time doing a site certification. In my mind, it is an easy job and it should not take more than 1 day. Boy was I wrong and in the end it actually took around 2.5 days to complete =_=|||

This coupled with the initial confusion on flight dates, it was chaotic. After the dust have settled down, I went 2 days before the actual work started so that I have at least some time to do some exploration of the city. Since my boss would be there, we could go and visit the Panda Research Center together and that would of course cut down on the travelling cost but it would seem that transportation would be provided by our host and that worked out perfectly because that way we would not get cheated by the taxis.

The driver brought us to have local dishes and other places of interest like Kwan Zhai Xiang Zi, Jinli Street, Shu Ma Guang Chang (its Chengdu's Lowyat). These places are the most accessible and not too far out of the city. If you ask for my opinion, I would suggest for you to visit Jinli Street in the city and Panda Research Center. I did not get the opportunity to visit Leshan Buddha or Er Mei Mountain but I think this places would be of interest as well especially for those who like to take pictures. The further place would of course be JiuZhaiGou and HuangLong if you have a couple of days to spare not to mention be willing t0 pay for the flight tickets.

All in all, the foods are filled with spices and almost unavoidable and the sceneries at the tourist attractions are wonderful. The roads will be an eye opener, 3-5 lanes highways and 2-3 side roads just beside the highways to turn off. Visibility varies from 200m to over 1km. Most of the time the city looks to be covered in a haze. I suppose pollution is quite bad there but I did not get breathing difficulties so it should still be acceptable.

One thing which I cannot get used to would be driving. Their cars are like Americans, left hand drive and drive on the right side of the road. When I sit in the front passenger seat, its like the car is missing the all the driver's things where its supposed to be. Almost all the people there drive like the road belongs to them, move and stop at their fancy. Using the horn as if they are the police speeding to chase after fugitives. The traffic lights do not need to be put up because cars can stop in the middle of a major 4 land road and try to make the turn while avoiding oncoming traffic. I was scared stiff and nobody would volunteer to sit in the front.

I declare I is alien
Shuangliu Airport
Panda Research Center
A real live panda upclose
Cute little cubs!!!
Jackie Chan donation plaque
Panda supply truck
Panda bus, additional RMB10
Wooden-like bus
Kuan (Wide) Alley of KuanZhai Alleys
Zhai (Narrow) Alley
I don't think she is model because she ain't that pretty but look at the amount of photographers she attracted
Blown up candy
So many brands of ciggarates
Chengdu's 三大炮 (3 big cannons)
Police, the car reminds me of Japanese police cars
McD, its real
MaLat Hot Pot
Chengdu's Lowyat aka ShuMaGuangChang
Street food : Fried stuff, the pork satay is DELICIOUS!!!
Street food : Fried potato
Jinli Street
3 kingdoms
Traditional building designs at Jinli Street, I love them
Zhang Fei beef
A souvenir from my host

Tradition broken ...

I have a tradition to not work on my birthday but it was broken this year. I had to work ... But then again, I repeated what I did 5 years ago whereby I went to renew my passport XD

Firstly, it started with me working from until 4am from the previous day and then just getting 3 hours of sleep before I head out again to the Immigration Department in Putrajaya whereby it was quite a challenge since the main office which was listed on its website does not offer passport renewal services anymore. They could have just notified everyone on their website instead of just preparing maps at their front desk counter =_=" Thankfully parking was free else I would be cussing.

Although the map was pretty straightforward, the actual roads are not really clear so I decided to clarify with the front desk officer. After making sure of the starting point of the given map, it was as per the directions on the map. To be honest, it was quite a distance and if you want to renew your passport at Putrajaya, DO NOT go to their headquarters (in Presint 2)... go directly to the address below :

Bangunan Chancery Place
2/2, Jalan Diplomatik
Presint 15, Putrajaya
Tel : 03-88811091

If you have a GPS, it would be best to to use it because you will NOT find this place easily. Heck even with the map, I still overshot the turning because the landmarks are few and a far between not to mention the most important was hidden behind a blind spot for the driver.

Entering the office, it was very quiet and not many people which was just what I wished for. After filling up the form, I was given the number 12 with just 2 person ahead of me. Incredbly, the staff were all food mannered, perhaps its because of the holy month :p After paying, I was told that it would take around 30 minutes for the passport to be prepared. So I went to the only shop in the building to look for something to eat. Again, since it was fasting month, there weren't much and I just grabbed a pack of chocolates for breakfast. By the time I my slow stroll in the building took me back to the immigration office, only 10 minutes have passed.

After settling some office issues via phone, to my surprise my number was called ie my passport was ready! That was just 15 minutes from the time I was told that it would take 30 minutes. So all in all I spent around 30 minutes to get my passport renewed! Shocking but true!

Time to head back to work and I thought I could leave in the afternoon but things after things after things arose and I had to resolve them throughout the day and my supposed leave did not happen at all. I worked like it was a normal office day until I had to head back home to have dinner with my family as a birthday dinner. Not to mention that I was sleepy as hell the whole day from the lack of sleep.

Why did I have to renew my passport? I was given the opportunity to go Bangkok as my boss could not make it. Hehehe, this means that I am now prepared to go travelling again if I have enough resources. Angkor Wat? Vietnam? Taiwan? Hong Kong? Europe??? ^_^

Do you smell spirits?

That was the exact question posed to me by my colleague when we were in the loo. Actually when I stepped into the restroom, a very strong smell (to me) of cleaning agent. I was going on my business when that question was posed. The first thing that came to my mind was, WTF??? Do you even know what month it is now??? @_@||| What kind of a question was that??? Can't he just use a normal word???

What the dictionary says :

1) the principle of conscious life; the vital principle in humans, animating the body or mediating between body and soul.
2) any distilled alcoholic liquor such as brandy, rum, whisky, or gin
3) an aqueous solution of ethanol, esp one obtained by distillation

Those were the different meanings as per their order. The list which tries to describe the supernatural being was about half of the whole page. As you can see, I was not the only one who thought that what he meant would most likely be "those" things.

But since I have already picked up the pungent smell, I knew he meant the unpleasant odour that we have to endure while we try to finish up our business to get out of there.

Would you be any different if posed with the same question?

Of fire drills, intra building meetings and bang bangs

After a 1 month of absent and due in part to respect the retirement of Paul Scholes, I am now back although I did have quite a number of posts which I wanted to do during this 1 month. However now, I can't recall any of them =_="

My company had a fire drill last Thursday and I walked from a very high floor, near top floor. It was not much of hassle or work because I have done it many years in a row already. This year, I did not sweat as much although it was as hot as I remembered it from before. As usual, since it was already informed upfront that there will be a drill, some have "snaked" out long before the bell rings, many who took the stairs just strolled like we are in a weekend shopping mall ie congested at the stairway. I believe the time that we are supposed to get down from the building from the top floor is around 15 minutes, I exit the lobby stairway door at around 25 minutes. The time to evacuate the building is supposedly 30 minutes so by my calculations, this drill failed, AGAIN. Sigh, I wish they really do a drill without prior notification to those irresponsible people who does not take these kind of exercises seriously. At least people would make their way down faster.

On my Friday, my boss delegated a meeting for me to go for a meeting at one of my company's nearby office which is a few streets down. I don't mind the walk even under the hot sun but what is most worrying is that I had no clue what the meeting was about and what was expected of me. That is partly due to the things that those people do in that other building. They are a secretive and highly paid bunch to supposedly help better the company. The scary part about the meeting is that its supposed to be a whole day meeting with a topic which to me does not seem to need involvement of my department. Anyhows, since I was tasked to do it so I went. The first part of the meeting was totally unrelated to my department's work because it was about the user's products. At the very end of the second part only were there questions for me. I would say that I had practically wasted my morning sitting in the room listening to stuff which are not of my concern for the time being. Since no lunch was provided so I went back to my office to have lunch with my colleagues before heading back to that office building.

Unfortunately for me, the chairperson can't quite read my writings on the attendance sheet and hence could not inform me beforehand that the meeting had been postponed to a much later time just as I stepped into the meeting room. I felt like cussing out loud but I held myself back so that I can ask a few questions and try to avoid coming back at a later time. After I cleared what was required of me, I head on back to office feeling quite tired already after so much walking. I slowed myself down so to spare some energy which I may require for the next day's paintball game.

Early Saturday morning, a little bit earlier than usual because the place for the paintball event is quite some distance away not to mention I don't exactly know where is the place just a very high level map which I did not print out and hopefully its stuck in my brain. After picking up a colleague whom I had promised to, I took the only way I knew and sped as fast as my car can go. I think I got to the place in around 20 minutes, just on time as I said I would reach there plus 5 minutes :p The crowd was much smaller than I initially expected BUT that is just good because it would be stuffy if there are too many people gathered. Breakfast was not even prepared and we quickly registered our attendace and went searching for our team members.

We had breakfast and the rest of my team members started to arrive 1 by 1. As usual in any corporate event, the management team will give its speech and since this is a physical event, stretching and some light exercise was shown to us before they march us to the fields. For the first time we saw the paintball field and the excitement starts to build. The marshal starts his briefing and shows us our weapon and light protection. Unfortunately we were the first team and since we were ALL first timers and the lack of understanding on the rules, we lost the game before I managed to fire 10 shots...

Naturally we complained to the officials because that was not how the game was supposed to play and we were granted a replay. To qualify to the semi finals, each team will have to play 3 times. My team on managed to win 1 time, so we definately did not get enough points to qualify to the semis :( We rallied to give ourselves a hoorah because at least we won 1 game :) With that, we went to other arenas/fields to watch the on-going games. All and all, I would say it was a great experience though it was normal that the management of games would suck because they packed the games too tightly and unrealistic. If we knew that there would be not much clashing, we would have registered for more games like go-kart.

We walked around until it was time for lunch and some of the winners were announced and the prize giving ceremony was held. The senior managers were scheduled to play a couple rounds of paintball as well but they were given quite a scare when they asked me about my experience because I showed them my battle scars. My boss in particular was so afraid that she did not dare to look when I lifted up my shirt to show the 3 shots I received on my left. So after 1 game of the senior managers, my boss commaneded me to take her place in the next rounds and she takes her leave with a convenient excuse that there is a wedding that she needs to attend.

In her place, I played quite well and we got into the semis and with lady luck on our side during the draw to see which team gets the home field because it is in favour for right handed players, we managed to get into the finals. In the finals, we were naturally up against a very tough opponent because they too were the best team from their group and better the winner of the top half. Again, with lady luck we managed to get the home field. Our flank shooter was taken out because he was too excited to shoot the wider space and forgot to defend his position. I took out his killer and took his position. It was indeed a good position as I was happily shooting away at an enemy whose back was facing me but suddenly another guy came to cover his ally. I was pinned down but since my position was strategic, I was able to alternate between shooting the open enemy and the cover. The cover got me pinned down well so I took a chance to concentrate on taking out the open enemy and managed to do so before I turned my nozzle on the cover who was not brave enough to charge me. I put my fun up and aimed at his postion after a quick peek and took him out as the last player. With that, I won the game for my boss' team :p Point to note though, I think there was just 1 senior manager left in the semi final game and no more in the finals LOL

The may-not-be-mine-hard-won trophy

The 6 shots aka bruises did not felt too bad on the day but they sure as hell hurt now. 4 bruises looks like it has some flesh eating bacteria on it (see below). I think I can walk into a horror movie set without make up and get my paycheck :p My legs feels like they are 2 tree stumps because it hurts to bend my knees. I walked like both my legs were plastered and going up/down stairs is a particular challenge. I guess this is what I get for being not active in exercises.

The 3 bruises on my left on the next day

Can't you just FUCKING listen???

Just because you are more senior, you think you know everything? There are many things that you don't know and there are even more things that I don't know. So what I know may be something which you don't know so hearing me out might not be such a bad thing after all. This is because I have always listen to what you say does not mean that I agree with what you are saying so I voice my opinion. If you want to reject and it does not concern me, I don't fucking care BUT if it involves me, you can sure bet that I will not take it lying down if its not what I can accept.

You logic is not absolute because the world was proven NOT to be flat, the Earth is NOT the center of the universe, you cannot kill yourself by holding your breath etc etc etc. If they experts who have been doing their job for 20 years or more telling you that something should not be done, he/she must have their experience to back it up with. Yes, if you want it to be done, they will do it BUT they are telling you upfront that you will face problems and yet you insist that you want to proceed then its your call and in my words, "Your funeral".

I would say that I am hard headed as well but I will listen to logic and accept reasons. Just because you want logic to be truth does not mean that it can be applied to the real world. I would also want to say that I think I have been doing an excellent job BUT I am not measured by my own ruler in this world, somebody else holds that ruler and tells me that I am not up to par. If you really ask me, you are not up to my expectation as well, falling quite some distance from what I have been told and expecting.

What I really cannot take/accept is the no manners. Only no-class people would do such a thing, hang up on a conversation which is not going your way. PFFT, the respect I had for you was immediately ANNIHILATED that very moment. mlm mlm to you too.

A very heavy stone lifted off my chest ...

The skeleton have finally escaped from its enclosed prison closet. Today my colleague finally dared up to ask me the question and I just answered bluntly. I would have prefered to announce it myself but its ok, at least now that its off my chest and I do not have the feeling of hiding it anymore.

I prefer to announce it myself because I would be prepared to answer questions to clear what they feared to ask before. I was rushing for meetings after meetings after meetings so I did not have more time to clarify with them.

Now perhaps during our lunch next week I can open up for questions and hopefully get them to understand what happened, at least what I think had happened. It doesn't really matter anymore. I just want them to be normal, no need to avoid topics. I love to chit chat with them during lunch or at least listen to their topics and perhaps chip in with my two cents. I hope that does not change.