I would like to have ...

... another baby. Perhaps mostly from external influences but if things had gone as how i envisioned it, i may have already had a second child. Ideally, a daughter because many a time when shopping, i see a lot of very beautiful girl clothings but it doesn't really matter too much whether its a boy or a girl.

A few of colleagues who got married had babies and some newer weds are very hardworking to produce a baby. Some other colleagues who don't know of my situation would keep on asking the same old question, "When are you going to have your second child?". A recent but more sarcastic one said, "Where is your second child? You tak boleh already is it?" =_=" *speechless* Of course the normal ramblings by those who have had a couple of children would keep babbling about that its not good to have a too huge a gap, should get more while you are still young etc etc etc

Some of my personal friends got pregnant and some just given birth would upload their baby's pictures. The little ones are so adorable and cute. Perhaps its these callings that triggered a desire in me. Sigh ... I also had the chance to play with some of my friend's babies and the baby's smell makes me all warm and cuddly inside.

Today (more like yesterday since now is midnight), i saw a very cute little boy in the train on my way back home. He was looking around curiously at the people who stood around him as the buildings and trees whizz by. He was such a good boy that he did not make any noise nor attempt any stunts that would worry his mother and brother who were catching up on some zzz. Everytime he looked at me, well more like everytime i gaze upon him, i would smile from ear to ear. Such a cute and good boy, i would love to hold and carry him. It was really rude of me to stare at him the whole journey, halfway on reaching my station he began to be more shy as everytime he looked up, i would looking down on him with a big smile, well maybe im not good at smiling and scared him :(

If only ... then i would like to have ...
Sigh ...

5 years ago to the day...

5 years ago to the day, i was in a hospital in the middle of night. I had been up most of the day because it was checkup day. Dilly dally, this and that, we were told to return with some clothes as we are going to be hospitalized as its overdue.

I went home for a quick dinner and shower before heading back to the hospital. Sure wished i had brought something to read or do. A very long wait from sundown until late midnight. During which we just practically stayed in a room listening to all kinds people screaming and machineries beeping. From time to time, a nurse would come and check on us. Periodically a doctor would do his/her checking which i could see was very painful for the person that i know laying on the bed is very pain tolerant, showed her uneasiness with his/her doing.

As the pain intensifies, laughing gas have no effect at all but its the only type of non-dangerous painkiller. The clock ticked past 12am and the unbearable pain was not able to be tolerated anymore and a shot of painkiller was administered. Sadly though, it was just a temporary relief. During the long wait, the conversation we had was about pain, very painful and damn painful...

After about 10 hours of labour, a new Law was added into the country. This Law however proved to be a very tough one in many aspects. Nowadays its really a headache but Law is a Law so you have to accept it, what you can do is try to shape it to be a better Law. I am not perfect so i will not be able to make it a perfect Law but i will have to shape him to be as least a better Law than i am although i am handicapped now.

Happy birthday :)