Cross year post

Can't really say that I do not have the time to post because Im on leave now but perhaps unlike before Im not able to focus on a topic and just shoot like usual. The strange thing is that I now actually have the fastest Internet connection money can buy for normal consumers. 2011 flew by like it was just a month although there many things that happened but it all seemed to be squeezed into a very small timeframe.

The year ended on a very low note for me because I was quite depressed which was compounded by Manchester United's last home game lost to Blackburn =_=" Many things made me down, but perhaps to best summarize it would be that I was hit like a nail on my head when my friend advised me that Im a just sitting on my problems. To be honest, I know I am sitting on it not really because I like to sit on it but its more like I dunno what to do ... However, I think I have gave it more thoughts and there is no other way, I think I have the decision and once I can get it across, it should not be delayed anymore.

On the good side however, I was given the opportunity to travel (for free) to 2 countries :p Bangkok, Thailand and Chengdu, China. I loved both places although both places I would wanted to have stayed longer and do more things or rather complete the things which I wanted to do. 2011 really did not felt like much time to me, every month payday would come so fast as if the last one was just last week. Perhaps work has buried me into a blackhole and my time are spent without me really realizing it. Almost everyday, I put in about 12 hours of work hours but some are really poorly spent because of those useless project managers running them ... Sigh, I don't get to do my work until its after the end of the day for others and the sad part about that is I would require to deal with those matters with those people who go back on time ...

Although it may seem that my efforts should account to a good appraisal but deep down in me, its not really worthwhile stuff that Im doing to be put up as a case for promotion. Most of the things that I do cannot be smart and sometimes I feel that its so dumb that I really curse out loud in office in front of all my colleagues. My colleague who sits in front of me hears me rant the most although from time to time she does join me in ranting out loud :p Its more discouraging when you get to hear that others who gets promoted but their work are like simple things. Pfft, either Im really poor at selling myself or my headhunters suck. I know that there are quite a few people who have quit before are now back at least 1 rank up. ZZZ

So it seems that I have failed to complete any of my resolutions for 2011. I need to be serious about it else its just for show. Some of them have been there for ages.

Sadly though, I think my depression was carried over to the new year. I tried to get some good feelings but it seems to have backfired and actually made me more down. There really some things which I cannot get out of my mind and to make matters worse, I have to dream about them on a frequent basis. Im being haunted not just during my waking hours but also when Im supposed to be resting. I get even more frustrated and depressed.

I sure hope that there is something to look forward to in this new 2012 year. According to supposed zodiac predictions, mine should be best this year and my wish of course would be to strike the lottery so that I can really go around the world before it may end as some have predicted. I somewhat believe in this because the people who made it were really great although they were supposed to be not so high tech or knowledgeable. However, we are also talking about the same people who could accurately calculate eclipses, tracking seasonal changes, position of stars and planets long before the supposedly more knowledgeable scientists or scholars and also their invention to peer into deep space.