I always say the "right" things at the "wrong" time

I used to be a quiet person. I don't talk much because I don't have much to say particularly to the people whom I don't know. But if I am close to someone I might be a little more chatty but therein lies the problem. I almost always speak my mind so that means I am shooting so damn straight that people who don't know me might think that I am crazy to utter some things.

I am not sure how you are brought up but I have been constantly reminded that I am not supposed to lie. I had the shock of my life when I went to college. YOU CAN'T FUCKING SURVIVE IF YOU DON'T FUCKING LIE!!! I get to meet so many interesting and bad characters that I realize that I have tomust lie.

However, sometimes I unknowingly let slip what flashed across my mind and it normally lands me in a pile of shit so high that its over my head. Can't say that I don't really deserve it. To be honest, I was really telling the goddamned truth BUT nobody likes the truth. I hate myself for not being able to control myself BUT I will hate myself more if I kept it in too much.

Sigh, its sad that sometimes I will turn my friends away because its perhaps not what they want to hear and the stupid me just reminded them of their grief or wrongdoings. I do hope my close friends understand me enough to know that I am me and for me, I believe that the truth is better than lies especially among friends. Of course they are entitled their own fantasy bubble that should not be burst by my unfortunate knowing of their truth. For this I apologize for all the wrong or uncomfortableness that I may have caused.

I really must shut the fuck up more before I lose more friends. Too bad I really just can't help it if I see something wrong and let rip. Also, some people when talking about some secretive stuff they tend to be a tad too loud and I would overhear and then butt in :p So here's news for you, whisper even softer when talking about secret stuff because some people's hearing are better than others and will pick up what you say =D