Swimming in melancholy

At first i wanted to post something about my experiences during my college days after many many flashbacks from my long chat with my first sem roommate cum classmate but it does not reflect what is really going on now to me. Melancholy is a word which i came across when flipping through a dictionary during my many many boring days in college. It is said that bad things comes cascading down but the reverse is rarely the case. Bad luck follows you when you don't need it the most.

Note for non-chinese educated readers : If you would want to be able to understand the chinese words going to be used and you are using Firefox, install this extension so that you will be able to" read" the chinese words.

The relation of my roommate vs my melancholy is that he brought a CD Walkman with him to college and i often borrow it to listen to chinese songs (which was quite foreign for me then). The likes of Power Station and Zhang Zhen Yue were his favourites and due to lack of choices, i too began to like their songs. Zhang Zhen Yue's songs were mostly simple (in terms of chinese phrases used) and the music was fun though the lyrics may not be. One of my favourite song by Zhang Zhen Yue was introduced to you all here. As for Power Station, my favourite is still 那就这样吧.

It is very odd even to myself why i like sad songs so much. One of my bad bad habit which i always admit was picked up from a song by Jordan Chan. 没那种命 had alot of sighing in it and during my times of sadness this song was played over and over again until my then roommate would puke and even for him to be able to remember the lyrics. Sorry my dear old friend, im sure you understand how i felt during those troubled times and thank you for being there and also to put up to my ever loud big sighs. I loved many of Jordan's song because his songs uses very simple words which coincided with his own down times to express his sadness in his songs at that time.

Another song which was not so famous but brought a very deep meaning for me was by Leo Ku titled 木纳.

我在你家楼下
喊你喊到声音越来越哑
想笑就笑想哭你就哭吧
到我怀里把我当成是他
女人喜欢男人很会说话
偏偏我的个性不多话
情话甜得太肉麻谎话真的很复杂
所以听不清楚不如作罢
你说我太木纳
承诺短得只有一句话
谈恋爱的文化我学习得很差
你问得我难以招架
我怪我太木纳
安慰总是说得坑坑巴巴
不擅长的笑话我尽量在表达
就算别人笑我太傻
我在你家楼下
喊你喊到声音越来越哑
想笑就笑想哭你就哭吧
到我怀里把我当成是他
女人喜欢男人很会说话
偏偏我的个性不多话
情话甜得很肉麻谎话真的很复杂
所以说不清楚不如作罢
你说我太木纳
承诺短得只有一句话
谈恋爱的文化我学习得很差
你问得我难以招架
我怪我太木纳
安慰总是说得坑坑巴巴
不擅长的笑话我尽量在表达
就算别人笑我太傻
你说我太木纳
承诺短得只有一句话
谈恋爱的文化我学习得很差
你问得我难以招架
我怪我太木纳
安慰总是说得坑坑巴巴
不擅长的笑话我尽量在表达
就算别人笑我太傻
太木纳

Edit : How can i miss out this song, it got me pass many many days during my sadness over my love on another girl. 赵传 - 爱要怎么说出口

教我怎么能不难过
你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能够怎么说怎么说都是错
你对我说离开就会解脱
试着自己去生活试着找寻自我
别再为爱蹉跎
何必为爱蹉跎

只是爱要怎么说出口
爱要怎么说出口
我的心里好难受
如果能将你拥有我会忍住不让眼泪流
第一次握你的手指间传来你的温柔
每一次深情眼光的背后
谁知道会有多少愁多少愁

教我怎么能不难过
你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能怎么做怎么做都是错
如果要我把心对你解剖
只要改变这结果
我会说我愿意做我受够了寂寞

Of course being a non-chinese educated person, i will understand more english songs where words i can search up easily if i do not know the meaning. If a chinese word is not understood you will have to approach a person who is patient enough to withstand your utterly stupid questions as to what the word means and/or how to use it.

One english song's chorus which really describe what im going through would be Nobody Knows by The Tony Rich Project. Its personal enough for me not willing to share but depressing enough to not able to hide it. Its just like a saying which i have not used for a VERY long time, "I have lost my smile".

Many of the songs which i listened to could (still) bring tears to my eyes. Im actually quite down and out for many weeks already. I thank my friends who took notice of my strange status updates in Facebook to help lift me up from my gloominess.