有口讲人，无口话自己

I won't claim that im a great adviser always having the best advices to whomever who seeks for help but i do believe logically, the advices i have given are sound and most of the time well thought through. Sadly though i cannot advise myself :(

Although i have forwarded the below to my friends but frustratingly i was not able to apply it to myself, distancing myself from the ones whom i love dearly (this would now exclude her). Below is a forwarded email which i have distributed to my friends who are in a relationship.

Why do we shout when we are angry?

To those who are happily married or who are trying to work towards a happy marriage ...

One day, a professor asked his students 'Why do we SHOUT instead of speak when we are ANGRY?'

All the students thought for a while.

One answered 'Because we lost our cool. That's why we SHOUT.'

Asked the professor again, 'But the person is just right next to you, why can't we talk softly but have to SHOUT?'

Everyone gave their opinions but none was accepted by the professor.

Lastly explained by the professor 'When we are ANGRY, our hearts drift apart. To mask the DISTANCE we felt, we instinctively SHOUT instead of speak so the other party can hear us.'

'But as we SHOUT, we get ANGRIER. And we felt we drift apart further. So we SHOUT even louder...'

'It is the opposite when we are in love. Not only we do not shout, we whisper into each other ears. Why?'

'This is because our hearts are very close, almost never apart. As our love deepen, we reach a state of communication where there is no need for words.'

'We understand each other well enough just by exchanging look,' concluded the professor.

'Therefore, when we are arguing, DO NOT speak words that will make our hearts drift apart. WAIT a few days. When you feel your hearts are no longer far apart, pick up the conversation and continue from there..

I really feel the distance but many a time i am left with no choice, especially so in the area of parenting :( Much to learn, i still have to.

Looking at myself in the mirror i asked, "How dare you scold others what you cannot do yourself?" A big "FAIL" should be etched across my forehead signifying my failures and to remind myself that you should apply what you are trying to impose/advise to others.

I have given advices that "Time heals all wounds" to many friends who were down when they faced their difficulty, this however i have really experienced and time does dampen the effects somewhat. When it comes to myself again, there are so many things which i wish to forget but my forgetful nature is not helping one bit. Is it that the more i want to forget about something, the more i will think about it and hence not able to forget? Time does erode many things, but what i hope to be eroded seems to be made of gold/diamond which are quite resistant to erosion.

Note : I have too many headaches gangbanging me and the hot weather does shorten my already short fuse. Although i felt i have toned down on the number of explosions but when one does happen, it ain't pretty.