Never felt like wanting to vomit so much

I am in serious need of a delete function in my brain! I have never felt so uncomfortable on my life, I can't even sit straight. Whisky ain't doing no shit. I so wanted to scream until my lung burst.

Joan Jett and The Blackhearts - I hate myself for loving you

Midnight gettin' uptight Where are you
You said you'd meet me now it's quarter to two
I know I'm hangin' but I'm still wantin' you

Hey Jack It's a fact they're talkin' in town
I turn my back and you're messin' around
I'm not really jealous don't like lookin' like a clown

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

Daylight spent the night without you
But I've been dreamin' 'bout the lovin' you do
I won't be as angry 'bout the hell you put me through

Hey man betcha you can treat me right
You just don't know what you was missin' last night
I wanna see you beggin', say forget it just for spite

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you, that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you

I think of you ev'ry night and day
You took my heart then you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you
Can't break free from the the things that you do
I wanna walk but I run back to you that's why
I hate myself for loving you
I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
For loving you
I hate myself
I hate myself for loving you

Too damned nosy

SIGH... It seems that every time I open my goddamn mouth, I get into trouble. I just had to ask a very stupid question which I knew the answer will fuck me up but I ended up asking it anyways. Now I feel like a goddamn retard not to mention with a mood so spoilt that even with my favourite football team winning did not cheer me up. A lingering sense of idiocy and flashback of unwanted things is fucking me up.

Seems that I have lost the interest to update here. I wanted very much to talk about my Australia vacation and also about my new job but I just don't feel like writing anymore. Maybe I should concentrate on those post to get my mind of whatever shit its occupied with now.

Can't do this nor that

There are some quotes which you just LOVE to HATE! The thing is, it just hits the nail on its head and the truth sucks.

Every now and then, my mind will wander off to think of "IF". So this just reminded me so much of that, that there is a feeling that I still have a little finger hanging on for dear life on that "IF". Perhaps its because you have a ruler in hand that is why you are not able to find another similar that can be measured up to it. Hmm ...

My farewell notes

I am sure during the course of your working life you will have encountered colleagues leaving and receiving their farewell notes. After reading so many of other people's, I wanted to make mine special and that was always in my mind. The unfortunate thing is that I know far too many people to be able to just come up with 1 email so I wrote plenty to different groups :p

The first one is of course the most important, the people who interviewed and eventually hired me

Dear Managers,

You may or may not remember that you were the ones who interviewed me but despite my poor memory, you three are etched into my mind.

Dear En S,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to join your team.
Being part of your team have shaped me to who I am today.
The values and qualities you have taught me can basically be seen today whereby we are quite similar in being cheekily truthful on sensitive matters which unfortunately is a suicidal clash against Management.
Nevertheless, I see there is no wrong in telling truth just that I am not able to put what must be conveyed in a gentler manner.

Dear C & S,

Although I was not chosen by you to join your respective teams, we have worked together in lesser capacity in recent years.
It is still a pleasure to be able to work with you

Lastly, I remember I was asked a question by C if not mistaken, whether I was prepared to work outside of normal working hours ie during midnight or later.
Being a inexperienced young man then, I just blurted what came to my mind ie that I will be as prepared to work just as I am prepared to stay awake to watch my favorite football team play in the wee hours. It was meant as a joke but we were all laughing, I think :p
Over the years of course, I have worked countless nights of which on many occasions through the night and spanning over 24 hours.

Thank you all and I hope to work with you again in the near future.
Cheers and all the best.

My original teammates

To my beloved original teammates,

Thank you for teaching and coaching me from  a fresh grad who doesn't know anything to become a true .
The experiences with you all have shaped me to be who I am today.

I know it may sometimes be hard to accept that I am challenging your belief (especially Muslims) or work or personally and I would like to seek for forgiveness in the spirit of Ramadhan for what I have said or done that may have offended you but you suffered in silence.

It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart and all the best

My current teammates

My dearest colleagues,

As you may have seen this morning, I was overwhelmed with emotions to be saying my goodbye.

It was a magnificent pleasure to be able to have the opportunity to work and learn from each and every one of you.
We may have discussed, quarreled and sometimes might escalate until physical conflict but its all good because we are like a big family in one of the smallest IT department in the Bank.

I know it may sometimes be hard to tolerate that I am challenging your belief (especially Muslims) or work or personally and I would like to seek for forgiveness in the spirit of Ramadhan for what I have said or done that may have offended you but you suffered in silence.

It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and all the best.

Lastly, a general email to everyone in my sector and some important/close business colleagues with a more original email title "Disembarking flight MSS1713". FYI, MSS1713 was a new company direction

Dear Colleagues,

Many of you may not know me but I am going ahead and spam you anyways. Kindly be reminded that ITSEC does not endorse spamming =D

For those who do know me, I am sad to inform you that I will not be joining you in the historic journey of MSS.

I always imagined that I would be able to write this email in a way that it will leave an impression and to be honest, I am hit with writer's block for almost a moth.
So at a loss of my own creativity, I will have to make a corny quote from quite a famous HK drama, "人生有多少個十年?" which is literally translated as "How many decades are there in a human life?". I have been here for almost a decade, roughly 9 years and 4 months and in those many many years, I have got to known many people, some you like, some you don't, some you just can't use any words to describe them. However, I have been exceptionally lucky to be able to work in teams that display unprecedented teamwork and cohesion under the guidance of even more remarkable leaders. It will be my greatest pleasure to be able to work with you again in the near future.

I speak my mind and more often than not and it is generally not accepted by the masses. Hence in the spirit of Ramadhan, I would like to seek for your forgiveness IF I may have offended you in any way.

Note : I will NOT be using the 012-xxxxxxx anymore

All the best and safe journey on MSS1713

From blasting email to so many people, one of the most interesting reply I got was from someone who had the same middle as I did and she replied because of that LOL. Some of those who are not aware, called me up immediately and asked about many things, mostly related to work which I have helped them.

分手要狠 比相恋勇敢

Since my Mandarin is not so good so its even more rare that I can understand a Cantonese song seeing that I rely very much on a translator that will translate it into Mandarin. By replaying the song and scrolling through the lyrcis, I pretty much understand the content although it sounds very contradictory to me. This song was played during a radio topic talking about separation.

Though this song is not making much sense to me, I like its rhythm and some of its content. Anyone got the non-live version of this song, please send to me =)

吴雨霏 - 分手要狠

说再见不要坐近
不纠缠 不慰问
说再见不要坐近
便扶助病困
谁亦害怕背上开口责任
谁亦避免看见伤害人
然后乱说转淡了可以做对良朋
还道歉愧疚说不忍
分手要狠 比相恋勇敢
给掌掴就当打散不安热吻
分手要狠 讲分手不需要等
等等都不会合衬
却会忍不到热吻

说再见不要坐近
不纠缠 不慰问
说再见不要坐近
别扶助病困
难道尚要与你房租两份
难道没有布抹走泪痕
其实阵痛过去了 很快另有别人
才自责 过去太伤感
分手要狠 比相恋勇敢
给掌掴就当打散不安热吻
分手要狠 讲分手不需要等
等等都不会合衬
却会忍不到热吻
WO...
离开得够狠 搬走得更狠
删走了电脑 一丝一点烙印
手机都转新 寂寞亦别要找旧人
知己慰问我 也记得不要犯禁
说再见不要坐近
不纠缠 不慰问
说再见不要坐近
别扶助病困

It is also a strange coincidence that I am breaking up with a long relationship and it is indeed VERY HARD to let go but this round, I am determined to leave despite a very strong love deep inside my heart

每天抱着寂寞入睡

I just finished watching a movie that reminded me of this golden oldie. I know that I liked this song since I was very young but I have not really gotten to know what it really means. With my better understanding of Chinese now, I can now better understand what this lyric mean or at least I can relate to it as I have done with many other songs.

王声平 - 别问我是谁

从没说过爱着谁
cong mei shuo guo ai zhuo shui
为谁而憔悴
wei shui er qiao cui
从来没有想过对不对
cong lai mei you xiang guo dui bu dui
我的眼中装满疲惫
wo de yan zhong zhuang man pi bei
面对自己总觉得好累
mian dui zi ji zong jue de hao lei
我也需要人来陪
wo ye xu yao ren lai pei
不让我心碎
bu rang wo xin sui
让我爱到深处不后悔
rang wo ai dao shen chu bu hou hui
其实我并不像他们说的
qi shi wo bing bu xiang ta men shuo de
那样多刺难以安慰
na yang duo ci nan yi an wei
爱人的心应该没有罪
ai ren de xin ying gai mei you zui
为何在夜里却一再流泪
wei he zai ye li que yi zai liu lei
每天抱着寂寞入睡
mei tian bao zhuo ji mo ru shui
生活过得没有滋味
sheng huo guo de mei you zi wei
----
----
别问我是谁
bie wen wo shi shui
请与我相恋
qing yu wo xiang lian
我的真心没人能够体会
wo de zhen xin mei ren neng gou ti hui
像我这样的人不多
xiang wo zhe yang de ren bu duo
为何还要让我难过
wei he huan yao rang wo nan guo
----
----
别问我是谁
bie wen wo shi shui
请和我面对
qing he wo mian dui
看看我的眼角流下的泪
kan kan wo de yan jiao liu xia de lei
我和你并没有不同
wo he ni bing mei you bu tong
但我的心更容易破碎
dan wo de xin geng rong yi po sui

It was quite a funny movie but the special ending made me cry despite it being a very very funny scene...

Perhaps this is very close to what I am feeling now and it just hit me to want to make this post.

Champions 20|13

If you don't already know what the title means, you can ignore the rest since you will not understand it as well.

This season's reclaim of the title is not as high as the previous seasons due to the following reasons :

1) Sir Alex is retiring
2) Scholes also retiring, for the second time mind you :p
3) Not able to capture the Champions League for Sir Alex's send off

Not really in the mood for words so I will just go with pictures

 Look familiar? Champions in England for 20 times and 13 times in this latest format of league

 Oh yeah!

 A great send off to a great man

 A very hard act to follow

 It ain't heavy :p

 Wish I was there!!!

 My favourite player, you will be sorely missed ...

 Scholes winning for the 11th time

 Look at him, he is struggling to deal with the fans because he shuns the limelight

I call this the epitome of consistency XD

 A rare sight of Scholes

They may not have tears in their eyes but I sure do =(

 The last time for this pairing ...

 Golden boots winner whom I would love to see bring the title back again next season

I loved every goal he scored =D

For those who don't get it, this should explain it =)

Some of my own pictures =D

 A limited edition muffler, not sure why its called that though

My celebration when Peter Schmeichel came for a new card launch