Alone since 23/8/2008

To the outside world, the unthinkable had happened. For the people involved, perhaps you can call it that the volcano finally erupted. The tension and patience could not be held back anymore and therefore had to be released. Accumulation of problems on top of each other which could not be resolved resulted in this incident. Every effort which can be thought of by me have been tried to be done but sadly to no avail.

Yes, everyone would agree that its a great pity and waste to throw in the towels after so much effort have been put into it. Everybody would love to help but let me ask you, how do you want to help if you do not know what is the problem? Even if you know the problem, there must be co-operation from the people involved to try to resolve it.

Who is the selfish one i have not a scale to measure against. What is left now is a big headache as to how to make others understand that like many things in this world, what is seen is not the real thing.

Though i do not sleep as late as i used to 12+, but i wake up every morning, feeling that i have not had a proper rest. This could be due to several causes. Im having dreams almost throughout the night, good and bad ones. I don't get much dreams before this which is good as your brain do not need to generate those images and keep on working when you are supposed to get rest. When i do wake up, i check on my son, making sure he is not too out of position from his sleeping area on the bed, try to pull covers over him so that he won't get cold. He is not afraid of the cold as he is a 'hot' type of person, even in airconditioned rooms he would reject being covered with blankets.

My panda eyes are so aparent, it reminds me of looking at an old friend of mine when we were in school, his eye bags were always there and dark, wanna take a guess? Not only that, my mind is blank despite looking like im troubled by deep thoughts.

2 paragraphs of the chorus from Nobody Knows by The Tony Rich Project

I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me
Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
And I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me