The skeleton is pounding hard to get out of my closet

I don't think anyone would believe me if I tell them that I have not been truthful to my colleagues for 2.5 years. Only very close people whom I believe in would know about it and of course those who have a keen sense of investigating would find this blog and know about what happened to my relationship. Perhaps someone did find out about this and would like to hear it from my own mouth?

Ever since more of colleagues from the same department moved up to my floor, I have been getting more and more questions with regards to my wife and child. I can answer normally to questions regarding my son BUT when it comes to questions like, "When are you going to have a second child? Your son already 6 years old lor. The gap too big not good". SIGH. I also know lar. I drool when I see a baby, thinking when I can have another of my own.

Today the question other than the above was, "How come you never talk about your wife har?". Usually when this question comes up, I would shy away and evade the question entirely just like about the second baby question. I really have no answer for them. Initially when I decided that I do not want to disclose about my relationship, I thought that I would most likely get another job and either not tell them at all OR drop everyone a bombshell about the truth. Unfortunately, I am not able to secure another job and hence many remain in the dark.

I am now contemplating when I will finally let the skeleton out of my closet. It is going to be VERY hard to explain why I am separated BUT still remain undivorced. Its really complicated and as I have mentioned many times before, I truly believe that money was the main issue. From then until now, I can see changes that I presume are better in terms of financial. I get to finally settle my father's house loan, I get to sometimes buy what I want, do more with my own money, spend time with my friends to blow water, not really feeling too much pressure of being so close to empty pockets. She gets to help out her family with their financial problem, gets to buy a new car, lavish herself with expensive items (maybe she did not buy them herself, but I dinno), go on more trips that I could only dream of.

Feels like a win-win situation until when you get sick or its gets too cold at night or when you just need someone to hold and comfort you after a long hard day at work or just be there to listen to you rant or talk to. If you really put it into an equation, you really have to sacrifice something to gain something else and if you try to gain that something else but unwilling to sacrifice something in return, it will actually be taken away from you. Karma? Yin Yang?

I think if I am asked the same question again, I will just drop the bombshell. I don't think I want to keep on feeling gloomy all the time and evasive when asked about that question. I am not used to lying because I always portray myself as a very straight person and speak my mind, so perhaps I should really tell if I am asked about this again.